Arrange the salt, incense, candle and water to represent the four elements (or in any other manner you traditionally use). Place one of your four matching crystals with each.
Light the incense and the candle.
Place the stones representing you and your relative in the dish in the centre of the work area.
Take a moment to meditate quietly, and focus on the two stones in the centre. One is you, and one is your relative, you can add additional stones for other relatives if you wish. They should be side by side, touching each other, as you and your relative touched each other in life.
Take both stones in your hands, and hold them tightly. As you do so, remember the positive and happy memories of your time with your relative.
Pass the stones over the salt, and say: , with the energies of Earth, I am with you in spirit. Your memory will always remain with me.
Pass the stones over the incense, and say: , with the energies of Air, I am with you in spirit. Your memory will always remain with me.
Pass the stones over the candle, and say: , with the energies of Fire, I am with you in spirit. Your memory will always remain with me. Pass the stones over the water, and say: , with the energies of Water, I am with you in spirit. Your memory will always remain with me.
Place the two stones back in the dish in the centre of your work area. Take each of the four matching crystals/gemstones and add them to the dish as well. As you do so, tell your relative how much you will miss them, and how thankful you are that you were allowed to be part of their life. If you have family members such as children involved, ask each of them to place one of the matching stones in the dish, and tell the relative one thing that they will miss about him. *.
The important part is to select four that are the same. Use quartz, turquoise or amethyst, which are all-purpose healing crystals, or sugilite, which is associated with crossing over at the time of death. If you have things to say - why you could not be there, why certain decisions where made, make sure you tell them why you made that decision, so that they understands how difficult it was to do so. This is a good time to verbalize how you feel. Close your eyes, and reflect once more on how different your life was because of your relative. If you need to cry, scream or yell, now is a good time to do it. Don't hold back. Finally, take the dish with all the stones in it, and pass it to everyone involved in the ritual. Allow each person to hold it for a moment, to feel the energy of you and your pet together in the stones. Conclude the ritual in whatever your tradition requires.
Once you have done so, place the dish with the stones in a place or type of place (river, woods etc) which was a favourite of your relative's. Leave the dish there for several days. Whenever you walk by it, say hello to your relative, and let them know that they are remembered. After time has passed, put the stones in a safe place somewhere, perhaps in a drawstring pouch, or in a special box, so that whenever you begin thinking of your relative you can see the stones again, and remember them. You may even choose to make one of the stones into a necklace, or pass them along to family members for their own comfort.